The Center for Autosexual Reproduction is a hot new medical clinic located at 6425 Penn Avenue on the first floor of the Bakery Square Shopping Complex. The Center offers patients a short, non-invasive procedure called Automonogenesis to replace the inconvenient processes of courtship, conception, pregnancy, and birth. Our state-of-the-art automonogenetic techniques allow anyone to progenerate, regardless of sex, age or romantic capabilities.

Guaranteed offspring with every appointment. Try one on us!

Automonogenesis is a patented 3-in-1 product designed especially for the broadband generation. We combine the time-consuming, unattractive, and expensive processes of conception, pregnancy and birth into one accessible, non-invasive procedure that takes less than 15 minutes.

STAGE #1:
Omnisexual Manuception allows patients to inseminate themselves naturally, with no need for a partner, sperm bank or a womb. The Center for Autosexual Reproduction provides all of this for you in our comfortable Manuception Chamber.

STAGE #2:
Solocircumflation stimulates and monitors the patient's development through a rapid magnification process. Typical offspring mature in approximately 4 mins.

STAGE #3:
Intrapersonal Expulsion is the world's first fun and easy human delivery system. Without the use of drugs or painful operation, the new offspring is allowed to emerge on their own into a majestic new world.

To set up your free trial appointment leave a voice message at
412-353-9665.

Or contact us via email!

Guaranteed offspring with every appointment. Try one on us!